do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
