i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
