i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i will never coherently bang her
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
