in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Four minutes until I can fart!
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize