he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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