so explain again why im purple
no
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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