You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Bring me that man meat
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
