she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I bet he comes in French.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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