I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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