Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
