FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
