I think my vagina is haunted
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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