pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
party gras won. party gras always wins.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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