We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
