he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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