those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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