He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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