He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
