tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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