Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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