I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
