Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
