he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
