I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
