She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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