I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
there is puke in my bra ... again
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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