new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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