just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
