Will you blow on my dice?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize