he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize