i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
