If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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