i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize