My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
