your thong is hanging out like whoa
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
