I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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