you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
