we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
try to milk me bitch
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
