i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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