hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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