Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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