every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
