He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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