we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
