I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize