She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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