Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
True but thats because hes a fetus.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
