She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
