I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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