They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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