who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I wish there were birth control emojis
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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