apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
