How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
