clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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