all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
