I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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