i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
