If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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