btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
