LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Let's get the cat blown out
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
