i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
