An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
