after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
