He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Text me some of your sweat
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
